So I married a sociopath way back when. At the time, of course, I didn't know it. I didn't know it because he was good at what sociopaths do. They convince you how wonderful you are, how wonderful they are, how wonderful you'd be together. I guess at the time, it's what I needed. When all the wonder and magic hit me, I did question how it could be so amazing. I guess that should have been my first red flag. But every time I said to myself, "Could he be parroting what I say so that I think he knows me inside and out?" It seemed impossible. I made efforts not to reveal too much so he couldn't "predict" and because he seemed to love all the same things and want all the same things, it must have meant we were "soul mates."
So I marched into "soul mate" history and married him. Quickly became pregnant by him, and quickly started to realize that something was gravely wrong in our marriage. Thus was the beginning of more than a decade of me asking myself over and over, "Am I going crazy? What is wrong with me?"
In 2010, after ten long years of the story, I divorced him. This story will be like those movies you see where I won't start at the beginning, and I won't start at the end. I'm starting sort of in the middle. I feel like if I start at the beginning, I won't be able to keep track of the present. The story hasn't ended yet, so starting at the end just isn't possible. It will be a story with flashbacks and recollections to bring things into perspective. The story will one day be turned into a book, and if you feel the need to add your story or comment one way or another, in support of me or in defense of bad dads and sociopaths, perhaps that will be in the book someday too.
I intend to share this history so that others know they are not alone. Because of that, I will need to protect the privacy and identity of certain persons. The names and of folks and place may be changed for the sake of protection and anonymity. Some of you reading this know me, and you know my life, so you will know the people, but respect the privacy of the characters and don't divulge their identity. The names don't matter anyway.
The main thing you're going to find here is a collection of emails. Why am I choosing to publish that? Well, these emails are special. They're special because I don't have to use my imagination to come up with the words to describe how crazy this bad dad is. He used his own words, and I just need to copy and paste. Then you be the judge...is this a bad dad? Or was I right during my marriage to wonder if I was crazy?
